The Helper

The Helper, a skit for 2 speaking clowns by Steve Conley

(2 clowns or actors face the audience in seriousness)

Reader 1:  The Father.

Reader 2:  The Son.

Reader 1:  The Holy Spirit.

Reader 2:  Not half but whole!

(R1 turns and gives a slight dirty look to R2)

Reader 1:  Holy as in hallowed.

Reader 2:  Not full but hollow.

(R1 turns, puts hands on hips and gives a good dirty stare at R2. R2 raises hands as if to say, what?)

Reader 1:  Holy as in divine.

Reader 2:  Not the flower but D whole vine.

(R1 turns to R2 and shouts…)

Reader 1:  HOLY!

(R2 scratches head as if thinking…)

Reader 2:  Moly?

(R1 trying to stay calm for the audience)

Reader 1:  Stop.

(R2 quickly says…)

Reader 2:  Go.

(R1 very upset screams…)

Reader 1:  STOP!

(R2 cups hands around mouth and shouts…)

Reader 2:  GO!

(R2 turns to R1 and smiles. Immediately seeing that R1 is upset and then turn away like a cowardly dog. R1 tries to get back to a state of calm.)

Reader 1:  Father.

Reader 2:  Son.

Reader 1:  Holy Spirit.

Reader 2:  Not…

(R1 buts in and screams…)

Reader 1:  NO!

(R2 in a questioning state…)

Reader 2:  No?

Reader 1:  No.

Reader 2:  NO half but whole.

(R1 visibly upset turns to R2 and sternly says…)

Reader 1:  Holy as in Godly!

Reader 2:  Angry? (emphasize the long E sound)

Reader 1:  Very! (emphasize the long E sound)

Reader 2:  Sorry. (emphasize the long E sound)

Reader 1:  Should be. (emphasize the long E sound)

Reader 2:  I see. (emphasize the long E sound)

(R1 gives R2 another dirty look)

Reader 1:  Father.

Reader 2:  God.

Reader 1:  Son.

Reader 2:  Jesus.

Reader 1:  Holy Spirit.

Reader 2:  Helper.

(R2 bows and then turns to walk off stage. R1 looks at the audience and says…)

Reader 1:  Not anymore!

Copyright 2002 by Steve Conley. Performing rights only.

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