Rehearsing the Christmas play

Rehearsing the Christmas play, a skit by Mike Beauchemin, originally posted in Skits, Jokes, and Routines

Luke 2:1-20 New King James Version (NKJV)

At least 8 people
Narrator:
Director:
Shepherds:
Angels:
Mary and Joseph

Director: Ok everybody. It’s time to practice ‘The Christmas Story’. Places everybody! Aaaaand action!
Narrator: Luke 2:1-20 2And it came to pass Excuse me.
Director: What?
It said “it came to pass”, so I did. Excuse me.
Director: Continue with the story. Start from the beginning. But.. with no passing ! Looks at audience No pun intended. Ok. Maybe there was. Aaand action!
Narrator: Luke 2:1-20 2 And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. 2 This census first took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. 3 So all went to be registered,
Uh oh! Starts to leave
Director: Where are you going?
Narrator: I have to go do something important.
Director: Can’t you wait till we finish practicing?
Narrator: Uh uh.
Director: What is so important that you can’t wait?
Narrator: Looks at audience with slight pause I have to go register.
Director: Not you. The people who lived at the time of Mary and Joseph.
Narrator: Ohh.
Director: Now continue starting at verse 3.
Narrator: 3 So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city.
4 Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, 5 to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child. 6 So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. 7 And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
8 Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And behold,[b] an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.
Shepherds: Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!! running away.
Director: What happened!?
Shepherds: He said, “they were greatly afraid”.
Director:
10 Then the angel said to them, slight pause Then the angel said to them,
Director: Cues the angel whispering loudly, Then the angel said to them.
Angel: I heard him.
Director: That’s your cue for your next line!
Angel: Oh yeah. Sorry. Do not be afraid.
Narrator: “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. 11 For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this will be the sign to you:
Angel: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying to the manager.”
Director: Whispers Lying in a manger.”
Angel: Huh?
Director: Whispers louder Lying in a manger.”
Angel: Oh yeah! Lying in a manger.”
Narrator: 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: (Rest of angels enter raising their hands praising the Lord)
14 “Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”[c]
15 So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another,
Shepherds gesture ‘Let’s go’
Narrator: “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, (he looks at the director with a smirk and the director shakes his head ‘no’) which the Lord has made known to us.” 16 And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger.
Mary and Joseph lie in the manger with the baby.
Director: What are you doing?
Mary or Joseph: We’re lying in the manger like it says.
Director: What are you talking about?
Mary or Joseph: It says, “they found Mary and Joseph and the Babe lying in a manger.”
Director: NO! NO! NO! There is a comma after Joseph which means only th babe was lying in a manger!
Mary and Joseph: Ooohhhhh.
Director: Now get in place. Frustrated Continue!
Narrator:17 Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. 18 And all those who heard it marveled
(everyone oohs and ahhs)
Narrator:at those things which were told them by the shepherds. 19 But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.
Shepherds glorifying and praising God as they exit stage.
Director: And that is the Christmas story…sort of. This is why we celebrate Christmas…..

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