Thou Shalt Not Covenant (clown ministry)

Thou Shalt Not Covenant – a clown skit for two speaking clowns, typically a white face and an auguste, although any 2 clowns would do, an original skit by Raynbow D Clown, suggested by a discussion in the Clown Ministry group at groups.yahoo.com

(props required: a Bible, either actual or large foam prop)

(Clown 1 enters carrying Bible — Clown 2 follows directly after him, shadowing him – when Clown 1 stops, Clown 2 stops. When Clown 1 turns, so does Clown 2, staying out of site of Clown 1. This goes on for a minute, milking this gag for all it”s worth. Finally, Clown 1 catches Clown 2 in the act.)

Clown 1: So there you are! What are you doing?

Clown 2: Sorry… you”re just so popular, I want to be like you, so I was doing what you were! I want to be popular just like you!

Clown 1: Well, that’s very nice, but please don’t do that anymore.

Clown 2: OK, I won’t. Besides, I have to study my Sunday School verse, “Thou shalt not covenant!”

Clown 1: (does a take) “Thou shalt not covenant?

Clown 2: Yup! It’s one of the Ten Commandments, you know!

Clown 1: Do you know what “covenant” means?

Clown 2: Well sure! (looks thoughtful) It’s where, um… where you… kinda… So, what does it mean

Clown 1: You’ve got your words confused. A covenant is an unbreakable promise — for instance, God made a covenant with the Jewish people, and Jesus made a new covenant at the Last Supper — that’s where the New Testament comes from — a Testament is another name for a Covenant.

Clown 2: (as the light slowly dawns) Ooh! I must have written the wrong word down! It’s not ”covenant”! I feel so silly!

Clown 1: (gently) That’s all right. We all make mistakes, after all.

Clown 2: (to the audience) You see that? That’s why he’s so popular! (enviously) I wish I was popular. (to Clown 1) Well, thanks for straightening me out! Now I have to warn all of the nuns!

Clown 1: No problem at all… (does a take, reacting to the last part of that sentence) Warn all of the nuns?

Clown 2: Sure! After all, the Bible clearly says “Thou shalt not convent!” They”re all going to be in trouble!

Clown 1: Um, that’s not what it says, actually.

Clown 2: “Thou shalt not convent!” Nuns! Living in sin! Who would have thought it?

Clown 1: (getting Clown 2’s attention) No! Read the Bible! It says, “Thou shalt not covet!” Coveting is what’s wrong!

Clown 2: (to the audience) You see how forceful he is? How bold! That’s why he’s so popular! (enviously) I wish I was popular. (to Clown 1) So, what exactly does the Bible say?

Clown 1: (opening prop Bible) “Thou shalt not covet” — do you know what covet means?

Clown 2: Well sure! (looks thoughtful) It’s where, um… where you… kinda… So, what does it mean?

Clown 1: (slightly exasperated) If you obsess about wanting something that somebody else has,

Clown 2: (interrupting) like your popularity?

Clown 1: Sure! If you would want something that I have, like say my popularity, then that would be coveting!

Clown 2: Great! Now I get it! (light bulb comes on, as he realizes) So, if I were to, say, want your popularity, I would be sinning?

Clown 1: Yes — that would be coveting.

Clown 2: (turning to leave, sadly) Well, I have to go … gotta have a talk with God about… coveting.

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