A collection of clown skits, free to use in your own performances
William Tell skit – a classic clown skit for two clowns
Props required: toy bow and arrow, apple. Optionally, comedy glasses (either over-sized or like Shemp Howard used to wear, which can be found at Dollar stores)
One clown plays the part of William Tell, and the other plays his son. To prove his prowess at archery, William Tell is going to shoot an apple off the head of his son. Unfortunately, William Tell is older and somewhat near-sighted.
William Tell: [addressing the audience] Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I will re-enact for you a great feat of archery from my youth — shooting an arrow off the top of someone’s head!
Son: That’s so cool! I’ve always wanted to see that!
William Tell: [turns toward his son] Don’t worry — you’ll be seeing it up close! (more…)
Turkey Day A clown skit for 2 clowns, regarding Thanksgiving
Clown 1: (strides on stage, with energy & purpose—turns to face the audience) Happy Turkey Day, everyone! Do you know what tomorrow [or next Thursday, etc.—depending on when you’re doing the skit] is? That’s right! It’s Turkey Day! (more…)
The delivery running gag is a classic clown routine — I first heard of it with Otto Griebling, where he would wander through the stands of the circus carrying a small plant, calling out the name of a fictional person to deliver the plant to, such as Mrs. McGillicuddy-Smythe. He wouldn’t find her, of course, and leave …
Only to return later with another, larger plant again being unsuccessful, and left again … (more…)
Rock, scissors, paper … bomb? Nothing beats prayer!
Two clowns on stage (either as part of something previous or entering on stage and meeting each other)
Clown 1: Say, isn’t it your turn to clean up the elephant cages? (or anything else for the 2 clowns to disagree over)
Clown 2: Oh no, it’s your turn!
Clown 1: Well, there’s only 1 way to settle this …
Clown 2: Pistols at twenty paces? (optionally pulls out 2 prop pistols, such as the ones that pop out a ‘bang’ banner, etc.)
Clown 1: No! That’s too dangerous!
Clown 2: Boxing match! (optionally pulls out boxing gloves)
Clown 1: No! Too violent! I mean the ultimate contest! Rock, scissors, paper!
Clown 2: Okay! (depending on the age of the audience, could optionally explain the game)
Clown 1: On three! One, two … (both clowns make fists, but Clown 2 moves his hand very slowly, obviously trying to cheat)
Clown 1: Wait a minute! You’re trying to cheat!
Clown 2 (turning to the audience, trying his best to look innocent): No, I’m not … am I, kids?
Clown 1 (regardless of the audience response, or playing upon it) Yes, you are! Well, if you’re cheating, I can cheat too! Rock, scissors, paper … bomb! (does the normal hand movements ending with ‘rock’ – but extending his thumb up to be the fuse of his bomb).
Clown 2: Bomb?
Clown 1: Nothing beats bomb!
Clown 2: Oh yeah? (makes his hand into ‘scissors’ ) I’ll cut the fuse off! (‘snips’ the fuse on Clown 1’s hand)
Clown 1: You can’t do that! Nothing beats bomb!
Clown 2: I know what beats everything!
Clown 1: What?
Clown 2: (Puts his hands together, fingers pointing up, as if praying) Prayer beats everything!
(This skit was inspired by some silliness between Raynbow the Clown and Goofy Grape in our roles as husband and wife … for any newlywed husbands out there, just remember:the wife always wins 🙂 )
God’s Employment Agency – a skit for four (or more) speaking clowns
Props: Desk (optional), clipboard with a list (excellent for helping with the lines), 1 or more “twisty” balloons, cotton candy, surfer outfit (we used a grass skirt, Hawaiian shirt, and a snowboard as a surfboard, train ticket and/or train whistle). If you use additional people, you’ll want additional props 🙂
Bible verse: Matthew 20:1-16
Begins with the Manager clown (in our example, Doc the Rube) at his desk, other clowns waiting in chairs.
Doc: Welcome to God’s Employment Agency, who’s next, please? (more…)
Busy Bee – a classic clown skit
Busy Bee is a very well-known, enormously funny clown skit, created by Coco, and is included in several collections of skits, including World’s Funniest Clown Skits. It can be performed for 2, 3 or more clowns, but is most commonly performed with 3 clowns. It is not a ministry skit, by any stretch, although it could certainly be used as a lead-in to talk about deception, what the world promises vs. what it delivers, etc.
I first saw it performed live at the UW-Clown Camp 1998 by Jim Howle, Mr. Magish, and Lee Mullally. There are innumerable variations of the skit, with much room for inserting your own clown character in the skit—please do so. It goes a little something like this… (more…)
Body of Christ clown skit, courtesy of Epworth Rehoboth Beach United Methodist Church
Begins with a group of clowns walking across and just talking to each other. Solo clown coming the other way
CLOWN 1: (When they meet in the middle) Good morning everyone (or by name if not too many.)
CLOWN 2: Whatcha doing today?
CLOWN 1: Going to play bball. How about you all?
CLOWN 2: Well, we are headed to bell practice. Miss Judy wants to work on some new pieces.
CLOWN 3: Ya, they have a few tricky parts where everyone has to be ready at just the right time to ring their bell.
CLOWN 4: hey, don’t you need more than one person for a basketball team?
CLOWN 1: Yep, you need 5 players to form a team. And each team member must do their job in order play well. I certainly can’t pass to myself.
CLOWN 2: Sounds like we have something in common. Bells and sports!!
(clowns look at CLOWN 2 with a puzzled look)
CLOWN 3: (with bell) Without MY bell Miss Judy could not lead us to make the beautiful music.
CLOWN 4: Let me try to direct you. (does the hand movements and then points to CLOWN 3 who then rings the bell)
CLOWN 1: I see what you mean! Now that is pretty BUT I remember from Easter how beautiful it sounded when the whole choir was ringing (shakes hands like ringing a bell)
CLOWN 2: Reminds me of a Bible story where the Apostle Paul tells the church that we all have gifts and treasures. AND we need to share our gifts in order to carry out Christ’s work.
CLOWN 3: (Points to kids and congregation) God made us all special and gave us each talents and gifts to share.
CLOWN 1: Sounds like we all need to work like a team to help Jesus
CLOWN 4: I prefer that we work like a choir to help Jesus!
CLOWN 3: Same thing. We are all part of the Body of Christ. He needs each and every one of us.
CLOWN 2: And when we are connected to Him, working together, it’s like we are his arms and legs.
CLOWN 1: or maybe His branches. And Together we will produce fruit as big as this ball!
CLOWN 4: Or as sweet as the sound of our bells!! (points to Clown 3 to ring bell again)
CLOWN 3: Hey, CLOWN 1! let’s pray before we leave
CLOWN 1: Gracious Jesus you are the coach, and choir director of our life. Help us to follow your instructions in the Bible. Thank you for the gifts and treasures you have given us. Encourage us to share them, so we can bring others to You.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished – a clown skit for 3 or more speaking clowns
Application: We shouldn’t let rules get in the way of bringing joy to others
Scripture: 1 Peter 3:17: For it is better to suffer doing good, if suffering should be God’s
will, than to suffer for doing evil. (more…)
You Never Knew Me – an original skit for 2 speaking clowns, by Raynbow the Clown
(setup: requires 2 clowns or 1 clown and 1 “normal” person, one portraying/dressed as Jesus. The only prop is a door frame, with a curtain rod across the top to suspend a curtain from—the set up is described in Mark Wilson’s Complete Course in Magic under the title “Who’s There”. In a nutshell, the doorway is set facing the audience, with the “Jesus” clown behind the door and curtain. As He knocks, the other clown, who is busy (either practising his clown routine, or doing housework, or whatever would fit your character) stops, exasperated, to answer the door. Opens the door, pulls back the curtain to reveal Jesus, but the clown is too busy “right now” and shuts the door. This is repeated 3 times, as shown below. The door could have a large paper Heart on it.) (more…)
Turning the Other Cheek – a silent skit for a troupe of clowns
From an idea in Ministry of Clowning compiled by Everett Robertson. By the Beauregard Parish clowns.
Play is silent except for the reader and for the audience’s last reaction and the narrator’s reading. Could use background noises when stick hits and when tramp sits on glasses. Using background music could be effective. (more…)