Hold your tongue

Hold Your Tongue – a skit for 2 speaking clowns, illustrating the meaning of “He who holds his tongue is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19) Original by Raynbow the Clown.

Skit for two speaking clowns – whiteface and auguste, or any other combination.  The skit begins with Clown 1 walking on stage, looking around for Clown 2.

Clown 1: Hello everyone! My partner and I are here to demonstrate how to be wise, but I don’t see him anywhere…

Clown 2: (walking on stage, holding his tongue) Whay! Hea hi ham! (trying to say “wait! here I am!” while holding his tongue – assume that Clown 2 speaks “muddled” every time he speaks, while holding his tongue)Clown 1: (does a double-take) What are you doing?

Clown 2: (still holding his tongue) I’m holding my tongue!

Clown 1: Sorry, what was that?

Clown 2: (slightly louder, mildly impatient — €trying to make himself understood while holding his tongue) I said, I’m holding my tongue!

Clown 1: Still can’t understand you. Maybe if you let go of your tongue …

Clown 2: (perturbed) That would defeat the purpose! (realizing that Clown 1 still can’t understand him, he angrily releases his tongue) I SAID, releasing my tongue defeats the entire purpose! (quickly grabs tongue again)

Clown 1: (with confused look) How is holding your tongue helping you?

Clown 2: The Bible says, “He who holds his tongue is wise.” (realizing that Clown 1 cannot understand him again, he releases his tongue, repeats himself, and quickly grabs his tongue again)

Clown 1: (as the metaphorical light bulb comes on above his head) OHH … so you think that by holding onto your tongue, you’ll be wise?

Clown 2: (vigorously shakes his head up & down — straining his tongue in the process, as he neglects to move his hand along with his head)

Clown 1: You realize, that eventually you’ll get tired of holding onto your tongue like that … (Clown 2 pantomimes this sinking in) and, of course, your hand’s getting covered with … clown drool! (Clown 2 pantomimes shock, disgust, etc. — €possibly pantomimes wiping his hand on either his own or Clown 1’s shirt)

Clown 2: (releasing his tongue) But how am I supposed to be wise then?

Clown 1: By controlling your tongue — not saying things you shouldn’t, that Jesus wouldn’t say. By not talking more than you have to…

Clown 2: Ooh! I can become a mime!

Clown 1: (reacting) No! The idea’s not to stop talking, but to know when to talk, and when to be quiet!

Clown 2: Oh, I understand. Not to not talk, but also not to talk more than we need to — ’cause sometimes when we just keep talking & talking, we get all wrapped up in our talking, and say more than we should, or say things we shouldn’t! (Clown 1 smiles — the message is getting through) Because I know some people love to talk — they talk and talk and talk, and even talk about talking. They don’t know when to be quiet. Not me, boy, when I’m asked to be quiet, I’m like a mouse! Nope, not a peep out of me! When I’m asked to be quiet, you can hear a pin drop! Yessir, when I’m quiet, the silence is deafening! Why, as a matter of fact … (as Clown 2 says this, he gradually starts speaking faster & faster, as Clown 1 visually realizes that he hasn’t quite gotten the message)

Clown 1: Excuse me, but how is that “holding your tongue?”

Clown 2: (starting to reach for his tongue, & then realizes what Clown 1 meant) Oh … was I talking too much?

Clown 1: (kindly) A little bit, yes.

Clown 2: Ohhh….

Clown 1: Glad we’ve got that settled …

Clown 2: So, would it be wise to tell you that we need to get off the stage now?

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