Pinocchio on the mount

PINOCCHIO ON THE MOUNT, a talking skit for 4 clowns, courtesy of Grannie & Lorenzo

Dramatis Personae: Lorenzo (L), Jake (J), Grannie (G), Ariel (A)

Props: A number of progressively larger clown noses, Two very loud whistles, One pair of detachable angel wings, One angel crown for a girl angel to wear, Something similar for a boy angel to wear, A hand mirror, Lorenzo’s camp table & tablecloth, Large cardboard box

Setup: The wings, boy angel headdress & mirror will be at the left side of the stage area. The girl angel headdress will be at the right side of the stage area. The table will be at the center stage, covered with the cloth, with box in the middle of it. The noses will be in the box. Jake and Ariel should wear the whistles around their necks.

Grannie: Good Evening kids. It’s good to see you all again! I, as you know, I’m Grannie [she courtesies]. And let me introduce you to our other performers: There’s Ariel! (Ariel waves & bows) There’s Jake! [Jake bows and waves] And of course . . . There’s Lorenzo! [Lorenzo bows & waves, or waves & bows, as the case may be]

G: Tonight we’re going to tell you a story from the Bible again. Can you guess what story it’ll be? [Takes suggestions from the audience]. No. No. That’s a good guess, but no, that’s not it. To tell you the truth, we’re not quite sure which story it is, either, because we made a mistake. We let Lorenzo write it. And sometimes Lorenzo gets confused. Very confused. [She looks reproachfully at Lorenzo, who hangs and shakes his head.]

We think he confused this Bible story with the story of Pinocchio. At least that’s what it sounds like, but we’re not sure. We’re calling it Pinocchio on the Mount, just so we have a title. Watch closely because when it’s over we want you to help us decide what story Lorenzo was thinking about. So here we go:

[At this point Jake should go to the left side of the front area, where he will put the wings and boy type headdress on. He should pick up the mirror and place the whistle in his mouth, ready to blow it. Ariel & Larry should go to the stage and wait for Grannie to continue.]

By now you all know Lorenzo’s a clown. Mostly he’s a very nice clown, but he has one very bad habit. Lorenzo is very critical of other people.

One day Lorenzo was talking to Ariel:

Ariel: Hi Lorenzo.

L: Hey Ariel! How are ya? [They give each other high 5s and low 5s etc., etc.] How ya been? Where ya been hanging out lately?

A: I’ve been fine. I’ve been hanging out with Jake. He’s my brother you know.

L: Jake!? Let me tell ya Ariel, I don’t know about that. You should be careful of him. Maybe you should have other friends too.

A: Not hang out with him? . . . but . . . but he’s my brother! How can I not hang out with him?

L: Well I’ll just leave the details to you. But I really think he’s trouble! He never seems to mind his own business. I mean I can understand being interested in what other people are doing, but Jake won’t give you any privacy! Why, if you’re doing anything at all, whether it’s any of his business or not, Ol’ Jake immediately just has to stick his nose right in the middle of . . .

[Jake blows his whistle as loudly as he can and runs to the middle of the stage. Meanwhile Ariel goes to the right side of the stage area, where she puts on the girl angel headdress and waits.]

G: Suddenly there was a terrific noise!

L: Why, Wh’ . . . who are you?

J: I’m an angel. An angel is a messenger from God. God has sent me with a message to you.

L: A message? What does God want me to know?

J: He wants you to know that it isn’t right to ridicule people unless you’re perfect yourself – and boy! You ain’t! You were just talking about Jake’s nose. And God has sent me to tell you to take a look at your own nose. Here – look in this mirror.

[Jake hands Lorenzo the mirror and moves to the right area and helps Ariel to get the wings on. Lorenzo turns his back to the audience and looks in the mirror.]

L: What was he talking about? Augh! Oh! My oh my! [Reaches in the box and puts on a larger nose, lays the mirror on the table & turns around.] I didn’t know my nose was so large! And it’s kinda ugly too. Well, I’ve certainly learned a lesson; I’ll be carefuller what I say about peoples’ noses from now on.

G: Yes, Lorenzo decided to be a better person in the future. But Lorenzo soon forgot the message the angel brought him. A few days later Lorenzo happened to see Jake, who was coming from town.

L: Hiya Jake! How ya been?

J: Hey Lorenzo, I’ve been fine! [They indulge in various greeting rituals.]

L: What have you been up to Jake?

J: Well Ariel and I were downtown, and . . .

L: You’ve been hanging out with Ariel?!

J: Well, . . . yeah. She’s my sister you know.

L: Jake that may be true. But Ariel? Ariel’s so conceited! Ariel’s really stuck up. Why every time I see her she’s got her nose so high in the air that . . .

[Ariel blows her whistle as loudly as she can and runs to the middle of the stage. Meanwhile Jake goes to the to the left side of the stage area, where he puts on the boy angel headdress and wings and waits.]

G: Suddenly there was a terrific noise!

L: Dear me! And who might you be?

A: I’m an angel. An angel is a messenger from God. God has sent me with a message for you.

L: Another message? What does God want me to know now?

A: It’s not really a new message, because you apparently didn’t learn the lesson last time. He wants you to know that it still isn’t right to ridicule people unless you’re perfect yourself – and boy! You ain’t! You were just talking about Ariel’s nose. And God has sent me to tell you to take another look at your own nose. Here – look in this mirror.

[Ariel goes back to the right side of the auditorium and waits.]

L: I wish I knew what she was talking abou . . ACK! Oh NO! [Reaches in the box and puts on a larger nose, lays the mirror on the table & turns around.] My nose has grown even bigger! And if it was just ugly I could stand it. But it’s a little hard to see around it now. And it’s kinda heavy . . . Ah, hanh . . . ah hanh! Oh no! Ah hah, ah hah, ah ha, ah hah! Aaaaa—- . . . Whew. That was close. With a nose like this I could blow my head off if I happened to sneeze. You know this time I think I’ve learned my lesson. No more criticizing people’s noses for me!

G: Yes, Lorenzo decided to try real hard to be a better person this time. And he did a pretty good job for several weeks. But one day He happened to see Ariel again.

L: Hiya Ariel! Long time no see!

A: Hiya Lorenzo! Same here. How are you?

L: Oh good. Good. And how have you been keeping busy since I last saw you.

A: Jake and I went to a show with Grannie . . .

L: NOT Grannie!? You didn’t go out in public with Grannie!

A: Well sure, why not? She’s my Grannie and I love her. She’s a real nice person.

L: Yes I know. But you don’t wanna be seen in public with her. Grannie has absolutely no idea how to dress. Just look at those clothes she wears! [Grannie turns and gives Lorenzo an annoyed stare, which Lorenzo ignores.] Yellow and Green with orange! And it all clashes with her blue hair. I wonder if she really knows . . . [Jake blows his whistle as loudly as he can and runs to the middle of the stage. Meanwhile Ariel goes to the right side of the stage area, where she puts on the girl angel headdress and waits.]

G: Suddenly there was a terrific noise!

J: I’m an angel. An angel is . . .

L: Yes, yes! I know, I know. You’re an angel and an angel is a messenger from God. I can’t believe God has sent me another message.

J: Yep.

L: Well let’s hear it then.

J: It’s still the same message, and it probably will be until you learn the lesson God is trying to teach you. It STILL isn’t right to ridicule people unless you’re perfect yourself – and boy! You ain’t! You were just talking about Grannie’s nose.

L: No I wasn’t! I was talking about her clothes. What I said was, I wonder if she really knows . . .

J: Nose, clothes, it really doesn’t matter. God wants you to take a good look at yourself. Here’s the mirror again. Take a look! [Jake departs]

L: Again with the nose! And I wasn’t even talking about anyone’s . . . Yikes! How totally awful! [Reaches in the box and puts on a larger nose, lays the mirror on the table & turns around.] My nose has grown even bigger! And this time I can hardly keep my head upright, let alone see anything [wobbles head around]. That does it. Nose or clothes or toes; it really doesn’t matter. I’m not going through this again. I’m done with criticizing people.

G: And Lorenzo thought he really meant it this time. But he just couldn’t keep up the effort. A few months later he got to thinking . . .

L: You know I’ll bet I wouldn’t be having all these problems with angels and things if I hadn’t gotten involved with those AWANA characters. All of this sounds a lot like something they’d tell me. They’re always trying to instill good behavior, and tell people about God. And I’ll bet it’s infected me. You just have to be careful around people like that.
I know! I’ll stop associating with those AWANAS. That’s it! I’ll just close the door on that episode of my life . . . [Both Ariel and Jake blow their whistles and run to where Lorenzo is.]

G: Suddenly there was a REALLY TERRIFIC noise!

L: Oh, no! Not two of you! Don’t tell me. I know. You’re two angels, and angels are messengers from God. And God doesn’t want me to criticize people’s noses or clothes. But I didn’t say nose or clothes. I said I’d close the door on that part of my life . . . Or I woulda said that if you two hadn’t made all that noise. [Jake & Ariel should say the next lines very quickly, & each should say his or her next line as soon as possible after the other speaks, so that one statement follows the last with little interruption. Lorenzo will look back & forth in panic between them, expressing more and more shock as they proceed.]

J: Nose, Knows, clothes, close . . . it really doesn’t matter.

A: What God wants is . . .

J: For you to take a good look. . .

A: At yourself before you criticize others.

J: Here. Here’s the mirror again. Look.

[Lorenzo takes up the mirror again.]

L: This time I’m really afraid to look. [He puts on the largest – truly huMONgous – nose, then turns slightly so the audience can see his face. He holds his hand over his eyes & opens his fingers just enough to peek.]

L: OH NoOO! With this nose I just can’t see ANYthing! [Begins to stumble around the stage] And I think I’m . . . [wobbles erratically] I think I’m . . . [knocks over the table] I’m losing my balance! [With that Lorenzo falls flat of his back, taking the table with him. He remains there for the remainder of the play.]

G: How sad. How very, very, sad! But I hope we can all learn a valuable lesson from this story. But first, it’s time for our contest. Who can identify what Bible story Lorenzo was trying to tell? Was it:
David and Goliath?
Daniel in the Lion’s Den?
Huckleberry Finn, or
What Jesus said about the mote and the beam?
Any guesses?
Ok. You?
Yes, that’s right. It’s the story where Jesus said “why do you see the mote in your brother’s eye and don’t know you have a beam in your own eye? Of course Lorenzo got confused and made it a nose rather than an eye – because – well – he’s Lorenzo. But!
What’s a mote? Is it:
A spoiled brat?
A pair of suspenders?
A sprained ankle? OR . . .
A speck of dirt?
Right! A mote is a speck of dirt. And is a beam A:
A lard tub?
A licorice stick?
The State of Louisiana? Or . . .
A log?
Yes. It’s a log.
But what do you think Jesus was talking about? Did he mean:
Don’t play with lumber?
Have your eyes checked at least once a year?
You don’t need to pay attention to this story if you don’t have a brother,? Or . . .
Don’t criticize your brother because you may have faults too?
That’s right. Jesus was saying it isn’t a good idea to criticize other people and to remember we all have faults.
But you know Lorenzo made a bad mistake. He thought he could just become a better person if he tried hard enough. And in the end that just completely derailed him.
And it’s time for the hardest question. Who can tell me how Lorenzo could have been more successful? What he could have done that would have worked better?

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