Pretty Good Guy

Pretty Good Guy – a clown ministry skit for 2 speaking clowns – courtesy of the Asbury clown troupe

props required: tie, walker, long list of sins (likely 8.5″ x 11″ paper taped at the ends), tie, chalk slate

(both enter together) (background music) 

Doc  Hi, I’m Doc.  I’m a sinner 
Leonardo  And, I’m….. a Pretty Good Guy. 
Doc  Every day I try to do what God tells me to do, and I fail. 
Leonardo  And every day, I’m…. a Pretty Good Guy. 
Doc  For instance, on my way to Asbury, I went over the speed limit. 
Leonardo  I have never gotten a speeding ticket. 
Doc  Really?  You’ve never broken the speed limit? 
Leonardo  I have never gotten a speeding ticket. 
Doc  Hmmmm (pause)  Another example. Right now, I’m kind of coveting that tie Leonardo is wearing.  That is one amazing tie! 
Leonardo  Isn’t it though?  Didn’t pay a penny for it.  The sales clerk must have dropped it in my bag by mistake.  See how God takes care of…. pretty good people? 
Doc  Well…. anyway.  If it depended on me, I would never get to heaven. 
Leonardo  Hey.  Good people go to heaven!  And I’m not just a good guy, I’m a pretty good guy! 
Doc  So you think you’re good enough for heaven? 
Leonardo  You bet! 
Doc  Ok.  Let’s make a deal.  We’ll each keep track of our sins for the next, oh say, 50 years.  We’ll mark down every sin and when we meet again, we’ll see how good we really are.  Deal? 
Leonardo  Deal  (shake & exit) 
BRIDGE    music continues /pause/  as Leonardo walks down aisle 
Leonardo  (enters stage as “gramps” walker, tie, dragging paper list of sins, mumbles)  Stupid list.  Stupid deal.  Stupid sins!  
Doc  (enters with cane, stands next to Leonardo) 
Leonardo  Doc! 
Doc  Leonardo!  Good to see you!  Still have great taste in ties, I see.  (sees list) Whoa!  Is that your sin list?!?! 
Leonardo  What did you expect?  That’s 50 years worth.  Where is your list? 
Doc  (brings slate from behind back)  Actually, it’s right here. 
Leonardo  That’s impossible!  There’s nothing on it! 
Doc  I know. Isn’t that great! 
Leonardo  How did you do that? 
Doc  Oh, it wasn’t me.  Christ is the only one who can wipe my slate clean.  Every day I try to obey God and every day I mess up.  Every day I say “God, I blew it again.  I can’t do it without you. Forgive me.”  And, every day He says, “I already have” and he wipes the slate clean.  And that is why I can go to heaven. 
Leonardo  (faces audience, drops sin list)  Hello, I’m Leonardo and I’m a sinner. 
Doc  And we’re forgiven. (exit together) (exit music) 
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