St. Patrick’s Day clown skit – original by Raynbow the Clown
Clown 1: (walks onto stage) Hello, everyone, we’re here (looks around – possible looks under a rock, or other ‘clownish’ ways of looking for his partner) well, my partner is supposed to be here, and the two of us are supposed to teach a little something about St. Patrick.
Clown 2: (dashes in, holding a spray bottle filled with water) I’m here! I’m late! I’m sorry!
Clown 1: (does a withering stare) You’re very sorry, but it’s better to be late than never. (looks at the water bottle) What’s that for?
Clown 2: (holding the water bottle with pride) Well, you remember how St. Patrick became famous for driving the snakes out of Ireland?
Clown 1: Umm, I think that’s only a myth.
Clown 2: No, I’m a mythter! (mister) But I’m going to become even more famous!
Clown 1: (curious) How so?
Clown 2: By driving the fire-breathing dragons out of this country! (brandishing water bottle) With my dragon repellent! Watch! (proceeds to spray the water bottle with wild abandon, being sure to soak Clown1 in the process – milk this for all the slapstick comedy that it’s worth)
Clown 1: Wait a minute! (grabs the water bottle) There are no fire-breathing dragons! There never have been any fire-breathing dragons!
Clown 2: (with pride) See how well it works?
(at this point, several endings are possible—a chase off the stage, followed by the children’s pastor taking the stage to describe what St. Patrick really did, or Clown 1 gently explaining to Clown 2 who St. Patrick was, how he escaped from slavery in Ireland only to return as an evangelist there, etc.)