Bring your pet to show and tell

Bring your pet to show and tell – a skit for a speaking clown troupe

[Editor’s note: my clown friend, Doc the Rube, told me that his daughter had an inflatable dinosaur costume – and did I have a skit?  Well, now I do!]

Props: dog puppet (or balloon twisted dog, or even a real dog), an empty page (for the flea circus), and the inflatable dinosaur costume.

[The skit begins with 1 clown as the teacher and three more as the “students”]
Mrs. Simon (teacher): All right, children, did you all bring your pets to Show and Tell today?

First child: Mrs. Simon, can I go first?

Mrs. Simon: Yes, you may.

[Child goes to the wing, comes back with a dog puppet, addresses the ‘class’ — the audience]

First Child: This is my new puppy, Puddles.  Say hi to the kids, Puddles! [puppet waves]  He’s a brand-new puppy at our house.  My dad named him “Puddles” because … [looks down at her arm] … Oh, Puddles! How could you! [dashes off-stage

Second child: My turn! [goes off-stage, brings back an empty cage] This is my trained flea,

Fernando! [opens the door of the cage] Here Ferdinand! [pantomimes the flea jumping over his arms, tummy, etc.] Stop that! You’re tickling me! I’m warning you! Stop it! [swats the “flea”] Oh, no! Ferdinand! [runs off stage, weeping]

Third child: My turn! May I bring my lizard in?

Mrs. Simon: A lizard?  Well, I suppose so …

Third child: Great! [goes to the wing, brings out the person in the T-Rex costume, if possible on a leash]  This is my pet, Rex.

Rex: [looks at the crowd, pantomimes being hungry, licks lips, rubs tummy, speaks in a deep voice] When do we eat?  [pause] And who? [skit ends with Rex chasing the teacher off stage, yelling “Snack time!”]

[Editor’s note: for an example of the ‘flea’ routine, you can see Charlie Chaplin‘s version in Limelight