Speaking clowns

Good News or Bad News

Good News or Bad News? (Easter Sunday clown skit)

Good News or Bad News? an Easter Sunday clown skit for 6 or more clowns, courtesy of  Clowns for Christ

Originally written for Easter 1997

Script is for a cast of Happy Clowns, Sad Clowns, and Adult Clowns, 6 of each kind. If needed, one clown can play more than one role of the same type of clown. Also, one Little Girl Clown.

Scene opens with a Little Girl Clown sitting center stage reading a book. Off to one side two or more Sad Clowns are sitting on the floor, looking…well, sad. Suddenly from the other side several young Happy Clowns enter playing kazoos. (more…)

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The Bible Quiz, a free funny Christian clown skit for 2 (preferably more) speaking clowns. semi-Original by Raynbow the Clown.

The Bible Quiz

The Bible Quiz, a free funny Christian clown skit for 2 (preferably more) speaking clowns. semi-Original by Raynbow the Clown.

(As you’ll soon see, this is based on an old joke that’s been floating around for years—but the skit is surprisingly funny regardless! My clown troupe did this in front of our congregation, with excellent results. In our case we had a tramp clown, T-bone, as the master of ceremonies, with the other clowns “ringing in” answers like on a game show—only we used clownish things to ring in, such as squeakers, a Harpo Marx-style horn, etc.) (more…)

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Helmet of Salvation, a skit for 2 clowns – part of Steve Conley’s Armor of God series

Helmet of Salvation (Steve Conley)

Helmet of Salvation, a skit for 2 clowns – part of Steve Conley’s Armor of God series

by  Steve Conley  (originally posted to the Clown Ministry group at http://groups.yahoo.com)

Scripture Reference: Ephesians 6:17, John 14:6 NIV Zondervan

Cast: Clown 1 – Clown 1, Clown 2 – Clown 2 (auguste, whiteface, or hobo clowns)

Props: A hard hat or helmet, Plastic bat

Clown 1:  Does your head ever get you in trouble? Let me go a little deeper. Does your mind ever get you in trouble? Could it be your imagination? What about your thoughts? Do your thoughts ever get you into trouble? If you said yes to any of these you are correct. (more…)

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I’m a Little Teapot – an original skit for clown troupe

I’m a Little Teapot

I’m a Little Teapot – an original skit for clown troupe

An original free Christian clown skit, idea by Ellen Raymond/Goofy Grape, fleshed out by Tom Raymond/Raynbow, inspired by a short “teapot” skit done by Bonnie Donaldson/Squiggles during Clown Camp 1998)

(the skit begins with clowns entering the stage – one clown, the leader, takes center stage) (more…)

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Ticket to Heaven

Ticket to Heaven

Ticket to Heaven, a clown skit for 2 speaking clowns, presenting the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Original by Raynbow D. Clown

(requires 2 clowns, or perhaps 1 and a ‘normal’ person in angel costume)

Clown 1: Last night, I had the strangest dream! It went sort of like this…

(Clown 2 moves on-stage — has a halo (possibly made of balloon animals), wings, etc. — an angelic clown)

Clown 1: I dreamed that I had died, and I was outside of the gates of Heaven. I approached the angel who stood before the gate… (walks toward Clown 2)

Clown 1: Hi! I’m ! I’m here to go into Heaven!

Clown 2: Very good! Where’s your ticket?

Clown 1: (looking worried) Ticket? Ticket… it must be here somewhere (starts digging through his pockets, pulling out balloons, rubber chickens, long string of handkerchiefs, etc. — customize to your clown & use your imagination! finally pulls out a piece of paper) Aha! I knew I had one somewhere! Here you go! (hands it to Clown 2)

Clown 2: (frowning) Hmmm…. this says that you’re a nice clown… (hands it back) Sorry, that won’t get you into Heaven.

Clown 1: (slightly frantic, starts digging through pockets some more) No problem, I’m sure I have the right ticket here somewhere (more of the same shenanigans as before — finally pulls out another ticket) Here we go! (hands it to Clown 2)

Clown 2: (begins reading over the ticket, possibly adjusting his glasses if he wears any) Let’s see — it says you go to church every Sunday, say your prayers, give your money to God, love your neighbor, aaaand (drawn out — turning the ticket over) even rescued a kitten from a tree! (Clown 1 beams with pride — probably mugs at the audience. Clown 2 then looks sad and hands the ticket back) — well, those are all good things, but none of them will get you into Heaven.

Clown 1: Not even the kitten?

Clown 2: Not even the kitten — sorry.

Clown 1: (starts digging extremely frantically this time, finding nothing) This can’t be right! I don’t have anything left! Nothing! All I’ve got left is Jesus!

Clown 2: (perking up at that Name) What’s that? What’s all you’ve got left?

Clown 1: Jesus! He died on the cross to take away my sins, and He rose from the dead to prove that they were gone, and He said that He’d be with me always… so, even though I don’t have anything else left (looks woefully at his empty pockets — pulled out for everyone to see) I still have Jesus…

Clown 2: (smiling from ear to ear) Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place? Come on in!

Clown 1: (smiling as well) Just a minute! I’ve got to pick up all my stuff!

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You Never Knew Me – an original skit for 2 speaking clowns, by Raynbow the Clown

You Never Knew Me

You Never Knew Me – an original skit for 2 speaking clowns, by Raynbow the Clown

(setup: requires 2 clowns or 1 clown and 1 “normal” person, one portraying/dressed as Jesus. The only prop is a door frame, with a curtain rod across the top to suspend a curtain from—the set up is described in Mark Wilson’s Complete Course in Magic under the title “Who’s There”. In a nutshell, the doorway is set facing the audience, with the “Jesus” clown behind the door and curtain. As He knocks, the other clown, who is busy (either practising his clown routine, or doing housework, or whatever would fit your character) stops, exasperated, to answer the door. Opens the door, pulls back the curtain to reveal Jesus, but the clown is too busy “right now” and shuts the door. This is repeated 3 times, as shown below. The door could have a large paper Heart on it.) (more…)

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