Meet the Chez family – a clown ministry about kindness
(props required: a black envelope, easily made out of construction paper, and a large letter ‘E’ cut out of construction paper and placed inside the envelope)
(Clown 1 enters, walks to the middle of the stage, possibly sits in a chair, and pulls out the black envelope, concentrating on it. Clown 2 enters, looking high & low, frantically, for Clown 1)
Clown 2: (to Clown 1) There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you! We’ve got to get ready to do our skit about being nice to others!
Clown 1: (just beginning to notice Clown 2, looks up at him) Hmm? Oh.. Oh! I’m sorry! I forgot all about it… I just received this from the mailman, and I’m kind of worried…
Clown 2: (puzzled) Worried? About the letter?
Clown 1: (holds up black envelope for the audience) I think it might be ‘blackmail’
Clown 2: (groans, or otherwise reacts appropriately to the atrocious pun) Oh! Just open it, already!
Clown 1: OK! (opens the envelope, pulls out the red letter ‘E’)—Wow! I was worried about nothing! It’s E-mail!
Clown 2: (reacts again)
Clown 1: And now I’m ‘red E’ (holds up red letter ‘E’ as he does this) to read it!
Clown 2: (as though fearful of more puns) Who’s it from? And does it have anything to do with our skit about being nice to people?
Clown 1: (looks up from reading the letter) Sort of—it’s from my friend Pete from Atlanta, Georgia. Some people make fun of his name, and aren’t nice at all!
Clown 2: What’s to make fun of with a name like ‘Pete’?
Clown 1: His last name is pronounced ‘Chez’ (no, not ‘shay’—phonetically, ‘Chez’) Pete Chez.
Clown 2: (unable to repress a giggle) His name is Pete Chez? Like the fruit, Peaches? (laughs, but only a little bit)
Clown 1: That’s not being nice! He can’t help that his name is Pete Chez!
Clown 2: (still giggling slightly) And he’s from Atlanta? Does that make him one of the Georgia Peaches? (more snickering)
Clown 1: (now getting indignant) And you’re going to do a skit about being nice to people, and not picking on them? Remember what the Bible says: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32)
Clown 2: (still giggling, trying to get control of himself) Sorry… really I am. Does your friend have anything to say?
Clown 1: Yes, actually. Apparently, he and his brother Matt have been fighting, and now they’re not allowed to play together.
Clown 2: (starting to lose control again) He can’t play with Matt Chez? I can understand why! My mom always told me not to play with Matches! (laughs out loud)
(a short fire safety message could be inserted here if you feel so inclined)
Clown 1: You’re making fun of both of their names! Now stop it!
Clown 2: (struggling to gain control of himself) You’re right, I’m sorry… hooh… hah… Okay, I’m better now. So, their mom won’t let them play together? What’s her name?
Clown 1: (innocently) Belle.
Clown 2: (losing control, starting to bend over with laughter, slap himself on the knee, etc.) Belle Chez! Wow, if she belches, maybe she should take Pepto Bismol! (rolling on the floor)
Clown 1: (becoming quite indignant) That’s really enough! And to think that people wanted you to talk about being nice to people, and not making fun of people! Why, if Pete’s dad were here, he’d really be upset with you!
Clown 2: (trying to recover) Hoom… hmm… so, what’s the dad’s name?
Clown 1: (innocently) Rhett!
Clown 2: (now totally losing it) Rhett Chez! If he retches, he must really be sick! Belle needs to share that Pepto Bismol!
Clown 1: (very upset) That’s enough! This whole time, you’ve not been nice at all! You’ve been picking on some very nice people, just because of their names!
Clown 2: Yeah! Peaches, Matches, Belches & Retches! Sounds like a law firm! (laughing at his own cleverness)
Clown 1: Oh yeah? Let me show you what it’s like to be picked on! (scene ends with a chase, possibly ending with the water bucket of confetti routine)