Ask Mr. Wise Guy – a clown ministry skit for multiple speaking clowns
Props required:
Ladder (for the ‘wise guy’ to sit on, Bible, mutliple cards)
Leonardo: [enters with music] Attention, ladies and gentlemen. I will see you now. Please come forward when your number is called … #38?
Dottie: Number 38, that’s me! That’s me! Mr. Wise Guy, what is wisdom?
Leonardo: Ah, good question. Here’s your answer [hands card, Dottie leaves] Our next lucky person to see Mr. Wise Guy is … Number 160.
Sparky: [sounding depressed] that’s me … [faces wrong way, asks a question] Mr. Wise Guy, what is fulfillment?
Leonardo: You hoo, over here. [Sparky turns the right way] Ah, good question. Here’s your answer [hands him a card, Sparky leaves] Our next lucky person to see Mr. Wise Guy is … Number 2,280.
Katie & Kirsten: [bouncing up and down in place while they ask] What is happiness?
Leonardo: Ah, good question. Here’s your answer [hands them a card, the girls leave] Our final lucky person to see Mr. Wise Guy is … Number 444.
JJ: [excited, bouncing] Mr. Wise Guy, why am I here?
Leonardo: Ah, good question. Here’s your answer. [hands him a card, JJ starts to leave, reads the card; he stops and turns back to Leonardo]
JJ: Excuse me, Mr. Wise Guy …
Leonardo: Yes, may I help you?
JJ: This isn’t exactly what I was looking for.
Leonardo: Excuse me?
JJ: This is a recipe for guacamole! [holds up the card to Leonardo]
Leonardo: So what’s the problem? Did I use too much garlic?
JJ: No, no, I’m sure it’s good. But I didn’t climb this mountain to get a recipe for guacamole.
Leonardo: Oh? How many of you came up here for the recipe for guacamole? [Sparky raises his hand] Ah, another satisfied customer! [Sparky exits]
JJ: But Sir, I’m searching for the meaning of life. [Other clowns, “Us too!”]
Leonardo: Really? That’s odd. I haven’t had that request since the early ’70s. [pause]
JJ: Well?
Leonardo: Well, what?
JJ: What is the meaning of life?
Leonardo: I’m thinking … [Dance Epidemic #10] You know, there are those who think a good guacamole recipe is the meaning of life. [descends ladder] No, seriously, the answer lies in here. [hands JJ a Bible] A large volume of wisdom, handed down from generation to generation of Wise Guys.
JJ: A Bible?
Leonardo: Yes. New International Version. Got it from a delightful young Gideon in trade for a guacamole recipe.
JJ: You mean the meaning of life is in here?
Leonardo: Yes, it is.
JJ: But I have one of these at home.
Leonardo: You ought to try opening it. Would have saved you a trip.
JJ: But I do read it … all the time!
Leonardo: Well, then, you should be familiar with this from John 14 where Jesus says, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through Me.”
Katie & Kirsten: We know that verse. It can’t be that simple.
Leonardo. If you’re looking for a wise man, it seems you should listen to the wisest. That would be Jesus. No one can be wise without him.
JJ: Boy, if that isn’t the truth. Why is it that wise guys are always at the top of mountains?
Leonardo: Are you kidding? Do you know how low the property taxes are up here?
JJ: [turns to go, holds up Bible] Gee thanks, this was really worth the trip.
Leonardo: Of course it was.
JJ: And thanks for the guacamole recipe.
Leonardo: And don’t forget the chips!