The Helper, a skit for 2 speaking clowns by Steve Conley
(2 clowns or actors face the audience in seriousness)
Reader 1: The Father.
Reader 2: The Son.
Reader 1: The Holy Spirit.
Reader 2: Not half but whole!
(R1 turns and gives a slight dirty look to R2)
Reader 1: Holy as in hallowed.
Reader 2: Not full but hollow.
(R1 turns, puts hands on hips and gives a good dirty stare at R2. R2 raises hands as if to say, what?)
Reader 1: Holy as in divine.
Reader 2: Not the flower but D whole vine.
(R1 turns to R2 and shouts…)
Reader 1: HOLY!
(R2 scratches head as if thinking…)
Reader 2: Moly?
(R1 trying to stay calm for the audience)
Reader 1: Stop.
(R2 quickly says…)
Reader 2: Go.
(R1 very upset screams…)
Reader 1: STOP!
(R2 cups hands around mouth and shouts…)
Reader 2: GO!
(R2 turns to R1 and smiles. Immediately seeing that R1 is upset and then turn away like a cowardly dog. R1 tries to get back to a state of calm.)
Reader 1: Father.
Reader 2: Son.
Reader 1: Holy Spirit.
Reader 2: Not…
(R1 buts in and screams…)
Reader 1: NO!
(R2 in a questioning state…)
Reader 2: No?
Reader 1: No.
Reader 2: NO half but whole.
(R1 visibly upset turns to R2 and sternly says…)
Reader 1: Holy as in Godly!
Reader 2: Angry? (emphasize the long E sound)
Reader 1: Very! (emphasize the long E sound)
Reader 2: Sorry. (emphasize the long E sound)
Reader 1: Should be. (emphasize the long E sound)
Reader 2: I see. (emphasize the long E sound)
(R1 gives R2 another dirty look)
Reader 1: Father.
Reader 2: God.
Reader 1: Son.
Reader 2: Jesus.
Reader 1: Holy Spirit.
Reader 2: Helper.
(R2 bows and then turns to walk off stage. R1 looks at the audience and says…)
Reader 1: Not anymore!
Copyright 2002 by Steve Conley. Performing rights only.