Respect By Steve Conley , a free funny Christian clown skit for 2 speaking clowns

(originally posted to the Clown Ministry group at

(Clown 1 enters and begins to read a story from the Bible. After reading a few lines or so Clown 2 is heard off stage making noise and talking really loud. Clown 1 looks and the audience, smiles and says, excuse me for a moment. Clown 1 walks off stage and can be heard speaking to Clown 2 telling him to be quiet. Clown 1 enters again and starts reading the Bible story again. Clown 2 walks on stage. Cell phone rings…)

Clown 2: Hello… Hey, how are you?… I’m doing great!… You’ll never guess where I’m at… I’m on stage right this very minute…

Clown 1: Excuse me!

Clown 2: You’re kidding! That is fantastic!

Clown 1: EXCUSE ME!

Clown 2: Hold on a second. Clown 1 is trying to talk to me while I’m on the phone… (puts the phone down) What do you want, can’t you see that I’m on the phone?

Clown 1: Can’t you see that I’m trying to read a story here?

Clown 2: Well go on and read it. I’m not bothering you.

Clown 1: Yes you are! Get off the phone!

Clown 2: But…

Clown 1: NOW!

Clown 2: OK, I’ll get off. (Clown 2 tells the person on the other end the he needs to hang up) Please continue.

Clown 1: Thank you. Now where was I?

(Clown 1 starts reading again. After a few lines Clown 2 starts laughing)

Clown 1: What’s so funny?

Clown 2: You are.

Clown 1: What do you mean? Is there something on my clothes? Something wrong with my hair? What?

Clown 2: You are just flat out funny looking.

Clown 1: Funny looking? Well, I am a clown in case you haven’t noticed.

Clown 2: I know, what’s up goofy clown?

Clown 1: I may look funny but that doesn’t give you the right to call me names! I could say you look funny looking and goofy also, but I’m not going to be disrespectful like you!

Clown 2: Well sorry! (holding the long E sound)

Clown 1: Just what is wrong with you today?

Clown 2: Nothing! You want to make something of it?

Clown 1: Oh, here we go turning into Mr. Bully now are we?

Clown 2: I’m no bully! What? Do you think you’re better then me miss fancy pants?

Clown 1: Now that hurt my feelings! Are you trying to hurt my feelings?

Clown 2: Well, no.

Clown 1: First you disrupt me by making noise. Then you are inconsiderate by talking on the phone. Then you tell me I look funny. Then you try to bully me and now you have hurt my feelings! Have you not ever heard of the word RESPECT?

Clown 2: Yes I’ve heard of it.

Clown 1: I want to read something for you in 1 Peter 2:17. Is says, “Show respect for everyone and have a special love for God’s people”. Is that what you are doing to me?

Clown 2: No, I guess I’m not now that I think about it. In order for me to show respect I need to treat others the way they want to be treated. I need to be considerate. Treat people with courtesy, and dignity. Accept personal differences. Work to solve problems without violence and never intentionally ridicule, embarrass, or hurt other people like I did to you.

Clown 1: See, you do know how to be respectful.

Clown 2: Clown 1, I’m sorry. Will you accept my apology?

Clown 1: Yes I will. By the way, who was that on the phone?

Clown 2: Oh that was just some radio station.

Clown 1: Really, what did they want?

Clown 2: They said something about you winning a new car.

Clown 1: Really! Oh my! A new car! (Showing real excitement) Did you get their number? Who do I call?

Clown 2: No I didn’t. You had to accept it right on the spot. You told me to hang up.

Clown 1: Why you! (Very loud)

(Clown 1 chases Clown 2 off stage)

Copyright © 2002 by Steve Conley. Performing rights only.


Computer nerd by day, professional clown on evenings and weekends (Raynbow), who combines the two by maintaining a bunch of websites dedicated to the history and performances of clowning, such as Free Clown Skits, and comedy such as Best Clean Funny Jokes.

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