The Witch

The Witch [clown skit]

The Witch is a One Minute Drama, aka. a vaudeville blackout skit, from The Red Skelton Show episode, “Dial ‘M’ for Moron“. Up front: it’s more of a skit for an adult audience (no nudity or swearing involved, I swear! 🙂 )

Props required: a table, 2 chairs, 2 champagne glasses, a “champagne” bottle (it can be empty), a gun (can be a prop “pop” gun). Possibly a prosthetic “witch” nose.

People required: Three people — the man, the witch, the waiter.

The Witch skit

The skit begins with a distraught man, standing near by an outdoor restaurant. He’s holding a gun. He monologues to the audience, that he’s half a million dollars in debt. He’s embezzled $300,000 from his company. His wife’s left him. And he sees no way out, and he’s about to commit suicide.

Just then an ugly woman runs up to him to stop him! Don’t do that, there’s so much to live for!

He reiterates his problems, and she says, Don’t worry! I can fix everything. I’m a witch!

A real witch!

Yes! I can cast a spell, and your wife will come back, your money will be returned.

Really?

Yes! Let’s celebrate! [they walk over to the table] The man says, I’ll order a couple of beers. She says, Beer? Nothing less than champagne!

He agrees, and the waiter brings over the champagne with two glasses.

The man pours, and the witch asks if he’ll give her a kiss for a thank you? He looks at her, and pauses — she’s really ugly. But, he kisses her.

You can really do this? I’m a witch, remember? How about another kiss?

So, he kisses her again. And asks again, as they drink their Champagne, he asks again, can you really do this?

She replies, Aren’t you a little old to believe in witches?

Suggestions

• Depending on how you want to play it, the man could pull out his gun, and chase the witch off-screen.
• If you want to do this as a clown ministry skit, you could have a minister walk out at this point (it could actually be one of the participants) and talk about why we need to put our faith in the God who answers prayer. Not witches, or horoscopes, or tarot cards, or fortune tellers, or …