The Bible Quiz, a free funny Christian clown skit for 2 (preferably more) speaking clowns. semi-Original by Raynbow the Clown.
(As you’ll soon see, this is based on an old joke that’s been floating around for years—but the skit is surprisingly funny regardless! My clown troupe did this in front of our congregation, with excellent results. In our case we had a tramp clown, T-bone, as the master of ceremonies, with the other clowns “ringing in” answers like on a game show—only we used clownish things to ring in, such as squeakers, a Harpo Marx-style horn, etc.)
MC: Today, we are going to present a short Bible Quiz, to demonstrate just how much we’ve learned from our Pastor. First, who can summarize the Bible in the shortest amount of time?
PQ: Me! Me! I can the entire story of the Bible in 50 words:
God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled, bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, Prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, Love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained. (as she’s telling this, she’s acting out the different parts, which make an enormous difference—don’t forget to be a clown!)
Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh’s Daughter – she went down to the bank of the Nile, and drew out a little prophet.
Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A: Ruth-less.
Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury.
A: David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A: A Honda, since the apostles all went about in one Accord.
Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A: In the Big Inning… Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel, and the Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Q: The ark was built with 3 stories and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?
A: They used Flood lights.
Q: Who was the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David – he rocked Goliath to sleep.
Q: What do they call pastors in Germany?
A: German Shepards.
Q: What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A: Turn RIGHT and go STRAIGHT.
Q: Which servant of Jehovah was the biggest lawbreaker in the Bible?
A: Moses – because he broke all 10 Commandments at once!
MC: Very good. For the second half of our Bible Quiz, see if you can Complete These Statements:
- Adam and Eve were created from (an apple tree).
- Noah’s wife was called (Joan of Ark).
- Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, (but a ball of fire by night)
- Samson slew the Philistines with (the axe of the Apostles)
- The Egyptians were all drowned (in the dessert).
- Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of (Geritol).
- David fought with the (Finklesteins).
- Solomon had 300 wives and 700 (porcupines).
- When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus, she sang (the Magna Carta)
- The three wise guys from the east side found Jesus in the (manager)
- Jesus says the Golden Rule is (“do one to others before they do one to you”)
- Jesus explained, “A man does not live by (sweat alone)”
- The people who followed Jesus were called (the 12 Decibels)
- The epistles were (the wives of the Apostles)
- A Christian who has one spouse is called (monotony)