The mind reader – A clown skit for two speaking clowns
Props required: chair for the mind-reading clown to sit in, a coin (preferably large, clown-sized so everyone in the audience can see it), a blindfold for the mind reader
(the clowns walk in, the mind-reading clown carrying a chair which he sits in, while the other clown goes upstage to address the audience)
Clown 1: Ladies and gentleman, today we are honored to give you a demonstration in the psychic art of … mind reading!
Mind reader: (annoyed) I’m not psychotic!
Clown 1: (turns his head to reply to her) Not psychotic, psychic! You know, tele-pathy.
Mind reader: (appeased) Oh! I’m tele-pathetic, so that’s okay! (puts on blindfold)
Clown 1: All right! I will pass into the audience, find an object from the audience, and the mind reader will read your mind and tell you what it is! (walks into the audience, stands by a man) Okay, I’m standing by a man. Can you tell us his name?
Mind reader: (clearly doesn’t have a clue) Uh …
Clown 1: I’ll give you a hint — he’s Jewish! (for comedy’s sake, pick someone who is clearly not Jewish — in a church setting, for example, the pastor)
Mind reader: Is he?
Clown 1: Izzy, it’s nice to meet you! (shakes the man’s hand — if “Izzy” says that’s wrong, play with it — “Are you sure?” “Well, everyone’s entitled to one mistake …”)
Clown 1: (either borrows a wristwatch from the audience or uses his own) Watch out for this next one!
Mind reader: Watch? Watch, watch … I have it!
Clown 1: (eagerly) Yes?
Mind reader: It’s a puppy!
Clown 1: What!?
Mind reader: Sure, it’s a watch dog!
Clown 1: I’m starting to wonder about you being telepathetic .., let’s try this again (either borrows a quarter or uses his clown-sized coin) What denomination is this coin?
Mind reader: (with certainty) Presbyterian!
Clown 1: (frustrated) No, no, no! When you talk about coins, “denomination” means it’s value! Now, how much is this quarter worth?
Mind reader: 25 cents!
Clown 1: I’m not convinced that you can read minds ..,
Mind reader: (insulted) I can too, and I’ll prove it right now by reading your mind!
Clown 1: Go ahead …
Mind reader: You’re thinking … (concentrating) you’re thinking ,,, (exaggerating clownishly, concentrating madly)
Clown 1: Yes?
Mind reader: Aha! You’re thinking that I can’t read minds!
Clown 1: That’s absolutely correct!
Mind reader: (mind reader stands up triumphantly, removes the blindfold, takes a bow) And I can tell you what you’re going to say next! (Clown 1 looks at her with wonder) We need to get off the stage!
Clown 1: That’s right! (mind reader goes up to Clown 1, they both take a bow, grab the chair, and exit)