Duct Tape Sanctification is a gospel ministry skit for 2 speaking clowns, typically a white face and an auguste, dealing with the spirit of complaining — and how it’s expressed
Props required: already on stage, a table and a few chairs, possibly with some plastic plates on the table, fruit, etc. The only other prop is the “duct tape” that one clown uses to cover his mouth. Since you don’t actually want to put duct tape over your mouth, simply make one beforehand, with two strips of duct tape put together with the sticky sides touching. The “silent” clown can simply bite onto it, or if you feel ambitious, put a mouth hold on it.
The skit begins with 1 clown already on stage:
Clown 1: (anxious) Where is clown 2? He promised to be here to help me arrange things for the luncheon … and he promised a good attitude today, too!
Clown 2: (rushing in; he has a complaining, whining attitude for the entire skit) I’m here! It’s not my fault I’m late! It’s someone else’s fault! It’s always someone else’s fault!
Clown 1: You know, you need to lose your complaining attitude! Complaining is what kept the ancient Israel in the desert for 40 years, you know!
Clown 2: Don’t I know it! And I’ve developed the cure for complaining!
Clown 1: Prayer? Reading your Bible!
Clown 2: Nope! I call it “duct tape sanctification”! (pulls out the duct tape, covers his mouth with it)
Clown 1: Oh … you think if you can’t speak, you can’t complain?
Clown 2: (nods his head vigorously — from this point on, Clown 2 pantomimes everything, being unable to speak — and must exaggerate his complaining physically, to communicate to the audience)
Clown 1: Ooookay … well, let’s start by moving this table over there.
Clown 2: (points to himself, mumbles “me?” as best he can)
Clown 1: Yes, you!
Clown 2: (shrugs his shoulders, sighs deeply, walks grudgingly to one end of the table)
Clown 1: And, lift! (he lifts his end of the table, while Clown 2 puts minimal effort while pantomiming maximum exertion — pantomimes straining his arms, lifting with his legs, etc. Clown 1 pivots his end of the table, walks to Clown 2’s end, and moves it, “walking” the table while Clown 2 stays in the same spot, not noticing while he “exerts” himself)
Clown 1: (to the “straining” Clown 2) The table’s moved!
Clown 2: (‘wakes up’, looks around, starts to walk off)
Clown 1: Not so fast! You can at least help me move the chairs! (Clown 1 moves one chair effortlessly, while Clown 2 again puts on a huge show about moving his “heavy” chair, possibly straining his back — while either Clown 1 or a young child comes and moves the chair effortlessly)
Clown 1: (walks over to Clown 2) You know, your “duct tape sanctification” just doesn’t work — I’ve never seen such a spirit of complaining! (“rips” the duct tape off)
Clown 2: OWW!!!
Clown 1: Well, at least now you have something to complain about!
Skit ends with an angry Clown 2 chasing Clown 1 off stage