I’m a Little Teapot – an original skit for clown troupe
An original free Christian clown skit, idea by Ellen Raymond/Goofy Grape, fleshed out by Tom Raymond/Raynbow, inspired by a short “teapot” skit done by Bonnie Donaldson/Squiggles during Clown Camp 1998)
(the skit begins with clowns entering the stage – one clown, the leader, takes center stage)
Boss Clown: Okay, everyone, listen up! We’re going to practice the “I’m a Little Teapot” clown bit – is everyone ready?
(assorted grumbling, talking, “watermelon, cantaloupe”, etc.)
Boss Clown: Good! Now, it’s very easy. We simply use the children’s poem, “I’m a little teapot,” and act it out, like this. Pay Attention!
(Boss clown faces the audience as she acts out “I’m a Little Teapot“)
Boss Clown: “I’m a little teapot, short and stout” (mimes being short, possibly ducking down, mimes being stout, possibly by blowing out her cheeks and gesturing with her hands around her waist) “Here is my handle” (stretches one hand out, makes a first, bends the arm so the fist touches her waist), “and here is my spout!” (straightens her other arm out, pointing in the opposite direction from the ‘handle’) “Okay, now who wants to try it?”
Clown 1: Me! Me! I want to try!
Boss Clown: (stepping to one side) Okay, come on up and try.
Clown 1: (comes up to the spot Boss Clown has just vacated) Okay, here goes! “I’m a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle,” (up to this point does all of the moves correctly, but when Clown1 tries to make the spout, he makes another handle instead) “here is my spout!”
Boss Clown: Well, not bad for a first try, but that’s not a spout – that’s another handle.
Clown 1: (embarrassed) “Oh, my. Well, let me try again. I’m a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout!” (again, does everything right except the spout, which instead is another handle)
Boss Clown: Well, maybe you just need to practice some more …
Clown 1: Oh, I know I can do it right this time! Please give me one more chance? (feel free to insert clownish begging here)
Boss Clown: (uncertainly) Well …
Clown 1: Great! (runs back into place) “I’m a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout!” (as before, the spout is another handle) Oh, great! I’m a sugar bowl!
Boss Clown: (sadly) Yes, but we need a teapot, not a sugar bowl …
Clown 2: (walking up from backstage) Oh, I don’t know … I like sugar in my tea! (Clown 1 starts smiling at the idea)
Boss Clown: (slightly befuddled) Sugar? Yes, but …
Clown 2: In fact, I can be the sugar tongs! (extends both arms in front of himself, bringing the hands together, as though he is playing alligator-or in this case, sugar tongs)
Boss Clown: (cognizant that she is losing control) But we’re all supposed to be sugar bowls! I mean, teapots! Tongs?
Clown 3: (walking up from backstage) I can be the creamer! (mimes being the creamer)
(at this stage, chaos ensues, as the different parts of the tea set all start interacting with each other, to the dismay of Boss Clown)
Boss Clown: (yelling) But we’re all supposed to be the same!
(at this, all the clowns freeze, as a normal human, possibly a pastor, walks in front of everyone, with a Bible, who reads I Corinthians 12:13-18 “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit. For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.”)