You Never Knew Me – an original skit for 2 speaking clowns, by Raynbow the Clown
(setup: requires 2 clowns or 1 clown and 1 “normal” person, one portraying/dressed as Jesus. The only prop is a door frame, with a curtain rod across the top to suspend a curtain from—the set up is described in Mark Wilson’s Complete Course in Magic under the title “Who’s There”. In a nutshell, the doorway is set facing the audience, with the “Jesus” clown behind the door and curtain. As He knocks, the other clown, who is busy (either practising his clown routine, or doing housework, or whatever would fit your character) stops, exasperated, to answer the door. Opens the door, pulls back the curtain to reveal Jesus, but the clown is too busy “right now” and shuts the door. This is repeated 3 times, as shown below. The door could have a large paper Heart on it.)
Clown 1: (busy practising juggling, balancing, making balloon animals, doing housework, or what have you) Never enough hours in the day!
Jesus: (knocks on the door, out of sight)
Clown 1: (exasperated) Coming! (to the audience) Probably another salesman! (Goes to the door) Who is it?
Jesus: Jesus.
Clown 1: Jesus? (reacts to the crowd) Can’t be! (opens the door, pulls back the curtain, reveals Jesus standing there, arms extended)
Jesus: Will you know Me today?
Clown 1: No, not today—I’m very busy. But someday! (closes the door on Jesus) Sooo busy… (returns to his work)
Jesus: (knocks on the door, behind the door and curtain, arms outstretched)
Clown 1: (more exasperated) Coming! (Goes to the door) Who is it?
Jesus: Jesus. (Clown 1 opens the door, pulls back the curtain)Will you know Me in a week?
Clown 1: No, this is a very busy time for me. But someday! (closes the door on Jesus) Sooo busy… (returns to his work)
Jesus: (knocks on the door, out of sight)
Clown 1: (more exasperated) Coming! (Goes to the door) Who is it?
Jesus: (behind the door and curtain, arms outstretched) Jesus. (Clown 1 opens the door, pulls back the curtain) Will you know Me in a month?
Clown 1: No, this is a very busy time for me. But someday! (closes the door on Jesus) Sooo busy… (returns to his work)
Jesus: (knocks on the door, out of sight)
Clown 1: (very exasperated) Coming! (Goes to the door) Who is it?
Jesus: (out of sight) You never knew Me.
Clown 1: (flings the door open—as he does so, Jesus steps behind the door to ‘disappear.’ Clown 1 pulls the curtain back to reveal that Jesus is now gone. Clown 1 slowly turns to face the audience, miming despair, as he realizes what, and Who, he’s passed up)