Lucy’s Club Dance – I Love Lucy season 3, episode 91, originally aired April 12, 1954
Lucy’s Club Dance begins with Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball) and Ethel Mertz’s (Vivian Vance) club, The Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League, once again being in dire financial straits The idea of a benefit dance is proposed, and once again Lucy volunteers Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz) and his band. But this time, Ricky adamantly (and very humorously) refuses. What to do now? Well, the ladies realize that they all play different musical instruments, and so they decide to make their own all-girl band. And also decide to exclude Lucy, since they’ve heard her play the saxophone.
The quality of the music group …
The other ladies, however, are nearly as bad as Lucy. Including Ethel, who despite having played the piano well in previous episodes has apparently forgotten how to play. And Lucy decides to get back in the act by offering Ricky’s services to ‘mentor’ the group, and help them to be less lousy. In exchange for letting Lucy play. Ricky, however, is only human, and even after bringing his band in to show the ladies how the song (Twelfth Street Rag) should sound, the ladies are just as lousy afterward.
No such thing as bad publicity?
To make matters worse, Marion Strong (Shirley Mitchell, The Red Skelton Show) has put an article in the paper about how band leader Ricky Ricardo leading an all-girl band. Lucy and Ethel try to prevent the boys from reading about it by clipping the articles out of their newspapers. And going a step farther by going to the news stand and clipping it out of their copies as well. Eventually, of course, Ricky reads the article, and can’t allow his reputation to be ruined by having this terrible band to have his name attached … So there’s only one thing to do!
Those homely “women” …
In the conclusion, Ricky is present at the ladies club dance – as his band, dressed as women (and very homely as well) enter to play the Twelfth Street Rag. Lucy’s Club Dance is a very funny episode, and is available as part of the I Love Lucy season 3 DVD collection.
Funny quotes from Lucy’s Club Dance – I Love Lucy
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Gee, you couldn’t get much of an orchestra for $1.14, could you?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Maybe we could buy 10 kazoos and play ’em ourselves.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): You haven’t even heard them play, and you want them in your orchestra! Why not me?
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): I’ve heard you play.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Lucy’s saxophone playing sounds like a bull moose with a head cold.
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): If I didn’t do it, and you didn’t do it, who do’d it?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Maybe it was a mouse?
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): A redheaded mouse?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): That mouse sure gets around, doesn’t he?
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Well, I don’t know about the mouse, but I can sure smell a rat!
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): I wouldn’t be in your band if you begged me to!
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Ah, you really mean that Lucy?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Yes, I do!
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Good!
Carolyn Appleby (Doris Singleton): It’s just sour grapes.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): [referring to band] Listen, grapes aren’t the only thing that’s sour around here!
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): This [referring to the ladies’ music] is supposed to be bright and with a bounce?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): That’s right.
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): It sounds more like a funeral coming down 12th Street!
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): [hearing that Lucy’s all-girl band is scheduled to perform live] What!?!
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Good news, dear?