Staten Island Ferry – I Love Lucy episode 139, originally aired January 2, 1956
Staten Island Ferry is a funny lead-in to the European Travel arc, dealing with several things.
- Ricky, Lucy, Fred, and Ethel all need to get passport photos. And they all have their respective moments of vanity about them.
- Fred suffers from seasickness — and they’re going to cross the ocean to get to Europe. So, the answer is seasick pills. But, Fred doesn’t think they’ll work. So, Lucy suggests that the two of them go onto the Staten Island Ferry as a test. And while they’re on board, in a very funny bit, Lucy begins to suffer from seasickness! And takes Fred’s pills. Too many of them …
- They have to get to the passport office before they close, and deal with the curmudgeon running the office – played by character actor Charles Lane. No one did grumpy better that him — and he mistakenly thinks that Lucy’s drunk, due to the seasick pills!
Staten Island Ferry is available as part of the I Love Lucy season 5 DVD collection.
Funny quotes
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): [about getting seasick] Okay okay, but I still wish there was a way to get to Europe by bus.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): [on the phone with Marion] Yes, we’re all studying different languages so we can act as guides in different countries. I’m taking French, Fred’s studying German, and Ethel’s learning to speak Italian. Ricky? Oh he’s learning how to speak English. Ha Ha Ha. No, he’s going to take over when we get to Spain.
[Fred says something in German.]
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Great, what does that mean?
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): What do you think it means? Give me a glass of beer.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Is that all he’s learned?
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Nope, he’s learned how to order nine different kinds of beer. Oh, we’re going to have an interesting time in Germany.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): How are you coming with your French, honey?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Fine. I have mastered the two most important sentences in the language.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): What are they?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): “How much is that dress in the window?” and “Wrap it up; I’ll take it.”
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): Well, I have the feeling Ricky will know the French for “Take it back; it’s too expensive.”
[Lucy and Ethel after they see their passport photos.]
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): I look like Frankenstein.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Well shake hands with your bride.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): [about Lucy] She’ll be alright. She’s taking a little nap.
Passport Officer (Charles Lane): Looks to me like she’s taken a little nip.
Passport Officer (Charles Lane): I think this woman is intoxicated. Madam, do you drink?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): I do!
[Ethel needs someone to identify her.]
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): I’ll identify her. I’m her husband.
Passport Officer (Charles Lane): That’s too bad.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): Well you don’t have to rub it in.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): It wouldn’t hurt you to stay open a few minutes.
Passport Officer (Charles Lane): When the five o’clock whistle blows, so do I.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Fred, if I miss this trip on account of you, I’ll make you land sick.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): What a horrible choice to have to make!
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Hey I just had a horrible thought.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): What?
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Maybe we really look like this.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Bite your tongue.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Well what are we going to do now?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Either find another photographer or a plastic surgeon.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): I’m going to go and put on a new face.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): Just a minute. You’ve had a new face at home all this time and you’re still wearing that one?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): [about her picture] Oh it’s terrible. It looks like my face was put on hot and it ran.
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): I look alright, but my hair looks so funny.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): What’s the matter with it?
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): I look like I have a head of chocolate fudge.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): If I thought I really looked like this, I wouldn’t blame Fred if he walked out on me right this minute.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): Goodbye.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): [about his passport photo] I look like a fist with eyes.
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Here’s two good ones.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): How can you say those are good?
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Because you use these or you’re not going!
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): You know, these are kinda good!