Grab the rope!

A skit for two clowns, where one thinks his pal has fallen into … a tuba?

Grab the rope! A clown skit for two speaking clowns

Equipment:

• A tuba, and a chair to sit on
• A hat for Clown 1 to wear – very important.
• a long piece of rope
• a sheet (or two) of newspaper, crumpled, that looks older
• (optional) a table and chair for Clown 1 to sit at, while reading the old newspaper
• a divider of some kind, so Clown 1 can’t see what 2lown 2 is doing, and vice versa

Stage:

The skit begins with Clown 1 seated, facing the audience, trying to play the tuba. A divider is to one side.

Skit

Clown 1 is seated on stage (or walks on and sits on the chair at center stage), and is trying to play the tuba. Following the rule of three, he tries to blow into the tuba, trying harder each time, but failing. Clown 2 walks on stage:

Clown 2: What are you doing?
Clown 1: I’m trying to practice the tuba! But it’s really hard!
Clown 2: Why don’t you see if there’s something clogging it? I’d stay to help, but I have to go count the humps on the camel. (exits)

Clown 1: That’s a good idea! I’ll look. (he stands up, looks inside the tuba, and pulls out the crumpled newspaper) Aha! There was something clogging it! An old newspaper … (he walks past the divider, and spreads out the newspaper on the table, leaving his hat on top of the tuba’s opening) I wonder what this is … “In his own words: the story of a man rescued from a cave.” (to the audience) I love true life stories like this. (sits down to read)

Clown 2: (re-entering) Two! (looks around for Clown 1, not seeing him because of the divider) Where are you?
Clown 1: (oblivious, reading the story out loud) Help! I’ve fallen down here! Won’t someone help me?
Clown 2: (lifting the hat, yelling into the tuba opening) Are you down there?
Clown 1: (reading) It’s dark down here! Won’t someone throw me a rope?
Clown 2: Hold on, buddy! I’ll get you a rope! (runs off stage, returns with a rope) Here you go! (lowers one end into the tuba opening) Grab the rope!
Clown 1: (reading) I grabbed onto the end of the rope!
Clown 2: I’ll pull you up!
Clown 1: (reading) “But I couldn’t hold on!”
Clown 2: We’ll try it again! Grab tight!

(Clown 1 finally notices the commotion, walks over to the tuba. Clown 2 is so focused, he doesn’t look up)

Clown 1: What’s going on?
Clown 2: Somebody’s fallen into this thing! Help me pull him up!

(Clown 1 obediently does, and they both pull the long rope, until finally the end comes out)

Clown 2: He’s gone! We’ll never see him again!
Clown 1: Never?
Clown 2: Never!

(Clown 1 starts weeping, pulling out a clowning handkerchief, etc. Clown 2 turns to see who the ‘helper’ was, and realizes)

Clown 2: You’re not stuck in the tuba?
Clown 1: (clueless) No, I was reading the newspaper!
Clown 2: (angry) Well, you’re gonna be! (starts trying to stuff Clown 1 into the tuba, ending the skit)

Notes

Taken from WGN-TV’s Bozo Show, with Cookie (Roy Brown) and Bozo the Clown (Bob Bell). Clearly based on a much older sketch. For example, the Three Stooges did the routine multiple times, with Moe thinking that Larry has somehow fallen into a drain pipe. (Have Rocket Will Travel for one example, Scheming Schemers for another)