Lucy Saves Milton Berle

April 7, 2023 tom.raymond The Lucy Show 0

Lucy Saves Milton Berle - The Lucy Show season 4

Lucy Saves Milton Berle (1965) – The Lucy Show season 4

In Lucy Saves Milton Berle, Milton Berle goes undercover as a drunken bum to do research for an upcoming dramatic role. When he stumbles into a soup kitchen, Lucy is volunteering there. She met him in a previous episode, so he feeds her a story about being Berle’s down-and-out brother, Arthur. She takes him home to help him get back on his feet.

Mary Jane and Lucy serving at the soup kitchen
Mr. Mooney (Gale Gordon) washing dishes at the soup kitchen in "Lucy Saves Milton Berle"

Lucy and Mary Jane are volunteering time at the Southide Soup kitchen, serving 100 meals to the various down and out people there. Mostly bums and winos, but Mr. Mooney’s there as well, doing the dishes.

Mr. Mooney: [washing dishes at the Southside Soup kitchen] I’m not going to wash dishes all day and all night!
Lucy Carmichael: We’re not open at night.
Mr. Mooney: My wife makes me do them at home, too!

Milton Berle disguised as a bum in "Lucy Saves Milton Berle"
Mary Jane Croft and Lucille Ball drag a bum away from the soup kitchen to "rescue" him, unaware that it's Milton Berle in disguise

Milton Berle arrives, made up as a bum, at the Southside Soup Kitchen. Where his agent tells him that he’ll be studying the bums there not for two hours, but two weeks! However, Lucy has decided to rehabilitate one of these “lost men”, and picks on the worst of the lot — Milton! Despite his protests, Lucy and Mary Jane literally drag him out the door by his feet!

At Lucy’s house

Lucy Carmichael: [to Milton Berle, disguised as a bum, about a facial scar] Where did you get that scar?
Milton Berle: What scar? Oh, this scar? I was so depressed I wanted to cut my wrist, but I had bad aim

Lucy spraying the imaginary purple giraffe at the insistence of bum Milton Berle
Lucille Ball suspects that the bum is somebody famous - Jackie Gleason? But Mary Jane Croft sees the obvious - that it's Milton Berle in disguise

It’s very funny, as Milton keeps trying to escape, and Lucy keeps trying to rescue him. “No more tea!” Then he begins pretending to see things, such as a spider on her chandelier. Not only is there no spider, she doesn’t have a chandelier! Then she kills an imaginary bee — and a purple giraffe! Then, they pantomime carrying the dead giraffe outside — which is only a scheme by Milton to get out! But, Lucy and Mary Jane quickly recapture him.

I’ll Kill You a Million Times!

But after the bum utters Milton Berle’s trademark phrase, “I’ll kill you a million times”, it’s obvious that it’s Milton Berle. But Milton tries to cover up, pretending to be his secret brother, Arthur. Whom Milton has stolen all of his jokes and funny bits from! And indignant Lucy promises that, someday, somehow, she’ll make Milton Berle pay!

Lucy’s revenge on Milton Berle, for his brother Arthur

Disguised as a flower girl, Lucy infiltrates the party to undercut Milton Berle
Angry at Milton's eating at the soup kitchen for a cheap meal, Lucy cakes him!

Two weeks later, the bank is throwing a party, since they’re bankrolling Milton Berle’s new movie. Lucy, dressed as a flower woman, crashes the party, to get revenge on Milton. But Mr. Mooney doesn’t care, since she’s not doing anything to him!

First, she “subtly” tells everyone about his poor brother, barely eking out an existence. But when Milton explains that he has no brother, she’s angry at him for being so cheap! Disguising himself as a bum to get a meal for pennies! And hits him in the face with cake, before accidentally turning the sprinklers on the entire party, ending the episode.

Cast of characters

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