Lucy Meets the Queen – I Love Lucy season 5
In Lucy Meets the Queen the Ricardos and the Mertzes arrive in London, where Lucy wants to see the Queen of England. After a funny moment when trying to understand English currency, Lucy and Ethel go to the palace in hopes of seeing the Queen — and after struggling to understand English as spoken by an Englishman, Lucy tries to make one of the palace guards smile; she fails, but due to the distraction she manages to miss seeing the Queen!
The wrong celebrity
Heading back to the hotel, they think the Queen is making an appearance, and she manages to get a celebrity autograph — but the “celebrity” turns out to be her husband, Ricky! Back at the hotel, she’s angry at Ricky for the “mean trick”. Until he informs her that, since Ricky’s orchestra will be performing at the Palladium, she’ll not only see the Queen there — she’ll be presented to her!
This leads to the ladies trying to practice curtseying, while Fred and Ricky practice bowing — while a hotel maid comes in, and tells them the “right” way to curtsy. After a funny moment of practice, Fred, Ricky, and Ethel leave to eat — while Lucy stays behind to practice.
Lucy will be in the show – or else!
Upon returning, however, Ricky has bad news — only the performers will be allowed to meet the Queen. Lucy plays her “let me be in the show” routine like never before, threatening to hurt him if he doesn’t! He quickly agrees, with Lucy playing the part of one of the circus ponies in a routine — if her Charley horse in her “curtsying” leg doesn’t get in the way.
Later, during the performance, her leg indeed causes her trouble in a very funny routine, including trying to leap through a large hoop with her injured leg. Afterward, Lucy is too embarrassed to meet the Queen, until Ricky tells her that the Queen has requested to meet the funny lady from the pony routine! However, while practicing her curtsy, her leg has locked up … but that’s not about to stop her, as she has two ushers carry her off to triumphantly meet the Queen!
Funny quotes from Lucy Meets the Queen – I Love Lucy
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): It’s not my fault. I just can’t figure out the money over here.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): What was your excuse in the USA? Fred is now the darling of the bellhops on two different continents.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance) [to Lucy]: Honey, it’s only 10 o’clock, Queens don’t get up this early.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): How would you know?
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Well, back in Hollywood you came home with John Wayne’s footprints. I don’t want to find Big Ben ticking right next to my bed.
Lost in Translation
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): [to British man] You’ll have to pardon us. We’re Americans; we don’t understand English.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): [trying to make the guard laugh] Did you ever hear the one about the dog psychiatrist that wrote a book? It’s called: Is Your Cocker off his Rocker? Is Your Collie off his Trolley? Is Your Poodle off his Noodle?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball) [to palace guard]: You make Ed Sullivan look like laughing boy.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): [after hearing a British man’s answer to her question] And after living with Ricky for 15 years I thought I could understand anybody.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Oh dear.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): What’s the matter?
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Well, I can’t get into my good dress with my girdle off and I can’t curtsy with it on.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): I’m going to be presented to a queen! Oh, Lucy, I’m scared.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): You’re scared? Think of the queen.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): I haven’t used my curtsy muscles in years.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): I’d love to have the liniment concession for this group.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): I’ll make it. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Fred Mertz (William Frawley): Rome wasn’t built like you, either.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Oh, the Mertzes won’t get to meet the Queen! They’ll just have to keep a stiff upper lip.
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Make that three stiff lips.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Ricky, if you don’t let me be in that show, I’ll give you such a punch, you’ll talk funnier than you do now!
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): [talking about English currency] You know how much a pound is?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Sure, 16 ounces.