The Matchmaker [I Love Lucy]

The Matchmaker – I Love Lucy season 4, episode 99, originally aired October 25, 1954

In The Matchmaker, Lucy is trying to help her friend Dorothy to finally ‘finish’ her engagement to Sam (played by Milton Frome) with marriage.  But Ricky warns her to leave them alone and not meddle in other peoples’ business.  Lucy, of course, has no intention of listening to that, and decides to invite Sam and Dorothy for dinner, where she and Ricky will show them how wonderful marriage is.  And she even enlists Fred and Ethel to demonstrate an older ‘happily married’ couple.  Ricky, of course, knows nothing about this, and when he comes home exhausted and wanting to go to sleep, Lucy forces the issue.

Leading to marital strife

The Matchmaker - Lucy 'cooks' Ricky's bacon over a lit match

This leads to Ricky telling Sam what he ‘really’ thinks about marriage, to Lucy’s extreme displeasure.  The next morning, Lucy shows up at the breakfast table dressed the way Ricky described her the night before to Sam, and begins a very funny sequence where she serves Ricky his breakfast.  The way that he described it to Sam:  A glassful of seeds with a few drops of orange juice, ‘under-cooked’ bacon (where Lucy holds a piece of raw bacon over a lit match for a few seconds), etc.  Lucy offers to make Ricky his breakfast the way she normally does, after he takes back what he said last night.  Ricky replies that she just did!  One thing leads to another, with Ricky storming out of the apartment, declaring that he’ll eat downtown – and sleep there!  He barges back in a moment later, in order to change out of his pajamas first.

Where’s Ricky?

To this point, the humor in the episode has come fast and furious.  Now comes the pathos.  Lucy is waking Ethel every hour in the wee hours of the morning, to inform her that Ricky hasn’t come home yet.  In self-preservation, Ethel has Lucy come stay with her upstairs, while Fred stays downstairs in Lucy’s bed in order to keep an ear out for the baby.  As Fred sleeps under the covers, Ricky comes in, with flowers and candy, and begins pouring his heart out to ‘Lucy’ under the covers.  As he does this, Lucy and Ethel come in and hear Ricky professing his undying love.

When Fred reveals himself, Ricky’s masculine ego asserts itself, and Ricky is about to leave and not come back, when they quartet is interrupted by the arrival of a telegram.  Sam and Dorothy, seeing how Ricky and Lucy stay married despite their obvious problems, have eloped and decided to give married life a go.  Everyone laughs at this, and the issue is resolved.

The Matchmaker is a very funny, and heartwarming, episode and is available on DVD as part of the I Love Lucy season 4 collection.

Funny quotes from The Matchmaker – I Love Lucy

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Ricky is not going to bed!  He’s going to stay here and act happily married if it kills him!

Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): I’m just going to tell Sam exactly how I feel about marriage.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Don’t you dare!
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Sam, my boy, I’ve been married over 12 years, and I’d do it all over again.

Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Married 25 years and still mad about each other.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Oh, shut up!

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): For once, I decided not to do what you told me!
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): You never do what I told you!
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Then why don’t you stop ‘tolding’ me?

Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Lucy, didn’t you tell me that when you had your fight, you told him to go away and never come back?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Yes, but I didn’t think he’d do it!

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): If Fred was gone and never coming home, what would you be doing?
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Celebrating.

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Think of the beautiful children these two could have. Imagine. A little girl with Dorothy’s lovely hair and Sam’s wide-set eyes.
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Yeah. [chuckling]
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): What are you laughing at?
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): I was just thinking it’d be funny if she turns out to have Dorothy’s lovely eyes and Sam’s wide-set hair! [referring to Sam’s being bald]

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Dorothy and Sam are coming over.
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Dorothy and Sam who?
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): You know.
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Oh. You mean Dorothy Spider and Sam Fly.

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Well, you and Fred’ll be a wonderful example of a young couple who have been married 25 years. And are still madly in love with each other.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Me and Fred?!
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Well for tonight, fake it!

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Ricky and I will be a wonderful example of a young married couple, and you and Fred’ll be a wonderful example of an o—[seeing the look on Ethel’s face] Oh!

Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Anyway, I have a plan. We are going to show Sam what it’s like to be married. First, I’m going to serve a delicious home-cooked meal, and then we’ll all tiptoe in and take a look at the baby sleeping peacefully in his little crib, and then we’ll all come out here and sit around the big fire and listen to romantic music.
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Oh, that’ll be nice.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): Won’t it?
Ethel Mertz (Vivian Vance): Yeah. When are you gonna show him what it’s like to be married.

Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Lucy saves me a lot of money on food.
Lucy Ricardo (Lucille Ball): That’s right, I do!
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): You know, serving leftovers?
Sam: Leftovers?
Ricky Ricardo (Desi Arnaz): Yes, she’s great at serving leftovers. But the strange thing is I never had any of the meals that the leftovers were left over from.

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