Any Old Port! (1932) starring Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Walter Long, Julie Bishop
In Any Old Port!, fresh from the sea, Stan and Ollie check into a hotel for sailors. Soon, they’re helping a young girl escape from the proprietor, who plans to force her to marry him! But they have to flee, leaving their possessions behind them. Including their money! But, an old friend of Oliver’s is a boxing promoter. Soon, Stan’s in the boxing ring, facing off against … Guess who?
Review
Any Old Port! is a short, fun, Laurel and Hardy comedy. It’s fast-paced, with the boys at their best. They’re good-natured, and do their best to rescue the young lady that Mugsie tries to force to marry him. Despite their clownish incompetence, they actually succeed! It’s a very funny routine, with Mugsie ending up in the drink. And, promising to get even!
Stan and Oliver, meanwhile, have their own problem. Their belongings — and money — are back in Mugsie’s hotel. Where they don’t dare go back. They’re penniless, but happily they run into an old friend of Oliver’s. A fight promoter, who pays them $50 to have one of them fight in the boxing ring that night. And Oliver, of course, volunteers Stan!
In the ring, they discover that their opponent is … Mugsie! And he plans more than just revenge! He has one of his boxing gloves loaded with weights. The boxing scene is hilarious, especially when Mugsie loses his gimmicked glove. And Stan puts it on!
Cast
- Stan Laurel (Block-Heads). Oliver’s slightly dim-witted friend. Although not smart, both he and Oliver are clever. Which they demonstrate when they trap Mugsie in a table! Then, he ends up meeting him again in the boxing ring …
- Oliver Hardy (The Music Box). Stan’s friend, who tries to help the young lady. He’s good-natured, with a touch of cowardice. “Do something to help me!” And “bravely” volunteers Stan to fight in the ring …
- Walter Long (Pardon Us) … Mugsie Long. He runs the sailor’s hotel, Ye Mariner’s Rest, that Stan and Ollie check into. A thoroughly unlikeable fellow. He plans on forcing a lovely young woman to marry him. Unless the boys intervene …
- Julie Bishop (The Bohemian Girl) … Bride. The young girl that Mugsie is trying to force to marry him. Thankfully, the boys intervene, and actually manage to set her free! Despite their incompetence.
- Harry Bernard (Saps at Sea) … Boxing Promoter. Oliver’s old friend, who agrees to let Stan fight in a boxing ring that night for $50.00. Unknown to them, Stan’s opponent is …. Mugsie!
- Charlie Hall (Tit for Tat) … Stan’s second. A very minor role.
Funny movie quotes
Opening Title Card: In Port – Mr. Laurel and Mr. Hardy were just home from a whaiing voyage – – Mr. Hardy shipped was head harpooner – Mr. Laurel went along as bait
Stan: We’d like a room with a Southern explosion.
Ollie: Not explosion. Exposure.
Mugsie Long (Walter Long): [on telephone] I’m going to be married! [pause] Of course she’s conscious!
Ollie: [after girl runs upstairs crying] What seems to be the trouble?
Mugsie Long (Walter Long): Ha ha ha ha. She’s crying with happiness. She’s gonna be married.
Ollie: Who’s the lucky fellow?
Mugsie Long (Walter Long): I am.
Stan: [after a great big double take] Can you beat that?
Ollie: What?
Stan: What a terrible cats-after-me.
Mugsie Long (Walter Long): [planning to have Stan and Ollie be witnesses at the forced wedding] Hey, you mugs, come here. You! Come here! Come here!
Stan: I’ll have the same.
Lunch Wagon Owner: Yes, sir.
Ollie: [to Stan] You cannot have the same.
Stan: Why can’t I have the same?
Ollie: Because, You’ve got to fight tonight. [to the Lunch Wagon Owner] One order, Please!
Stan: [Whines as he got comfused] I’ve got to fight to night?
Ollie: Why certainly.
Stan: I thought you were gonna fight tonight.
Ollie: I’m the manager.
Referee: In this corner, we have Mugsie Long. And in this corner, a newcomer to these parts, Battling Laurel.
Stan: What are you doing?
Ollie: I’m paying our bet!
Stan: What bet?
Ollie: [Angrily] Why, I bet on you to lose and you double-crossed me!